Max Erler's Blog

Author: Max Erler

  • We Don’t Need to Play for Anyone

    We Don’t Need to Play for Anyone

    Reading Time: 10 minutes

    This is a personal reflection written in a moment of clarity — not to convince, but to remind myself of what matters.

    If it resonates with someone else out there, I’m glad, even if just partially. If not, that’s okay too.

    The Plate and the Trap

    I saw a plate the other day. It had a painting of someone with a gloomy face, dreaming of a tropical island – where the same version of themselves sat, with the same gloom.

    A plate with a painting of someone with a gloomy face, dreaming of a tropical island – where the same version of themselves sat, with the same gloom.
    Seen in the shop window of https://paintyourstyle.eu/category/muenchen-de/.

    It struck me hard. That’s what we do, isn’t it? We fantasize about running away, as if place will fix the thing that is actually mental, spiritual, cultural.

    We’re sick and tired of the constant noise in our cities. We’re fed up with the densely built-up concrete jungle. We long for clean air to breathe. We wonder why the status quo seems to be people rushing instead of people relaxing. We treat each other poorly, hiding behind facades. We’re afraid of wars and insane world leaders. We suffer from injustice. We’re sick and tired of this game of technology. We no longer want to run around. We don’t want to be another puppet on a string.

    I just finished my Master’s. Everyone wants to know what’s next.

    But honestly – I think “next” is the trap.

    Listening Again

    I’ve started listening again. To my mind, to my body and my soul. To the city and to nature. To people. To the earth. To my own nervous system and my heart.

    Thereby I had a listen to this downtempo electronic song by Tober & Tober with a meditative and organic vibe, which resonates very well with my own vibe these days: Concepts of Words. The tune perfectly underlines my thoughts.

    At some point, the song features a quote by Alan Watts:

    Well, I have a sort of suggestion, and that is this: that, before we decide either to save the planet or destroy it, we pause for a moment of silence. I don’t mean that kind of grim silence which one observes when somebody says, “Such-and-such a famous person has just died and we’ll observe a moment of silence in his honor.” And everybody frowns and thinks very serious thoughts. That’s not silence at all! I mean real silence in which we stop thinking and experience reality as reality is. Because, after all, if I talk all the time I can’t hear what anyone else has to say, and if I think all the time – and by that I mean specifically talking to yourself subvocally inside your skull – if I think all the time, I have nothing to think about except thoughts. And so I’m never in touch with the real world.

    Alan Watts (text sourced from https://www.organism.earth/library/document/intelligent-mindlessness)

    Games of Words

    At the end of the day, this is the truth, isn’t it? Nobody – yeah, nobody – knows what and why the fuck all this IS. It is sobering, but thoughts are just combinations of words in the endless space of language – and that itself is just such a thought.

    I’ve been thinking, reflecting, listening, talking, discussing and reading through different perspectives and theories – different games of words, trying to capture all of this. Searching for the meaning and trying to make some sense of it all.

    And I heard this poetry slam one day, making me realize I’m navigating this world wide web of information, this game of language, game of words – in circles.

    Whose Thought Is It Anyway?

    I stumbled across big thinkers, honorable geniuses and prestigious scientists.
    All of them are trying to capture a universal truth.
    But is that really what they are doing?

    We attribute thoughts to thinkers.

    Somewhat strange, as all of us know that it is a common phenomenon to say sentences at the same time or have the same thoughts in discussion groups. We’re having a lively evening with our best friends, fooling around, and suddenly two of us say the exact same thing. Or we’ve just prepared our argument in a philosophical discussion and hope to be the next one who can bring it up, but then we’re sobered when someone else comes up with the idea first.

    We experience that strange lack of knowing when coming up with a thought, whether it has already been thought by somebody else or not. And if we do massive research and do not find that thought anywhere, we appear to be sure to be the first ones with that thought.

    As a consequence, we get highly motivated and some of us write a book or a blog post, publish a paper or compose a song. Others found a startup, build a foundation or organize a club. And lots of us publish our everyday thoughts via social media or through chatting.

    We talk about mind theft and copyright. We play games of power to make sure we are mentioned. We invented patents. We sue people who use similar thoughts. We hold back and disguise progressive thoughts because it is a competition. And we overshare lots of trite or even toxic thoughts of which we think are commonly acknowledged through the internet and in our daily conversations and actions, just to get our egos stroked and stroked again and again.

    We seem so fond of our ego that we always want to have it stroked.

    The Performance of Self

    I find myself in situations over and over again, where I observe I’m hoping to come up as the first one with a real smart thought. And why? Because I want people to acknowledge the combination of words that I just created with the language module of my mind. And I want to win. Using all of my personal context as the foundation.

    But what is my personal context? It is the entirety of my experiences, my knowledge, my feelings, my thoughts, my way of perception.

    That model — my way of seeing, feeling, reacting — is what I call my ego. And it’s my ego that wants to win. To be seen. To be first.

    We seem to play in a system of competition. Even holidays, social events, sports and reading can feel like a competition with social media nowadays.

    Gamification of life.

    Good or bad, but who really wins the game?

    Letting Go of the Ego

    For me, this was fun for a while, but over time I started to feel sick and tired, like I was stuck in a loop. And I felt some inner drive to deliberately step out of this.

    Step back, relax, listen to the sound of the universe.

    I just decided not to decide my next career step, because the word “career” makes me feel like throwing up.
    When I hear that word, I am thinking of a good-looking CV, of a solid narrative, a master plan, an ego that makes sense to everyone. How funny it is that we even reshape our ego based on the company or project we are applying for. We prepare different versions of application letters and different versions of our CVs, depending on where we are applying. Different versions of our ego, in hope one of them will get stroked again.

    I feel tired of the pressure to plan, to perform, and to explain myself. I felt fear of judgment – not only to be judged by an employer, but also by my family, everyday people, and friends.

    I’m no longer interested in being “informed” just to signal that I am informed. Too much noise for me.

    I’m no longer interested in letting a platform or systemic environment influence me such that I believe I need stuff. I like it minimal and calm.

    I’m no longer interested in desperately craving partnered sex or a love relationship. I can enjoy sex alone and love is not dependent on another person.

    I’m no longer interested in not wearing clothes with fringes or fabric pulls. Doesn’t matter to me.

    I’m no longer interested in going to the gym and having a licked lean body. It’s way more fun for me to dance, to be outside and to play sportive games. And to eat cake.

    And I’m no longer interested in showering every day. Makes my skin feel itchy and too dry.

    And most importantly, I am no longer interested in judging people because they are judging.

    A New Confidence

    I asked myself who benefits from my fear of judgment. And the more I think about it, the more obvious it gets.

    I realized that we tend to project these fears onto others as well. It can make us feel uncomfortable when a friend decides to do a sabbatical or someone seems to “just do nothing”, taking a break or just breathing. Or even if someone decides to make “one step down” in the “social class hierarchy”, e.g., from being a well-paid software developer to becoming a football trainer or baker. And we tend to cover that discomfort with judgment and worries, such as:
    “If you just do nothing for a month, then one month will become two, two will become four, four become eight and in the end, you have ruined your chances and you’ll probably never work”, or “Not that you end up lost or unhappy”.

    But I feel compassion for those saying such things, as I thought such thoughts myself and even worried about others in that way as well. And I realized that I actually felt envious, as they were actually listening to their hearts.

    I realized that I don’t need to be accepted by anyone to feel confident. I even start to feel more confident the less I try to get my ego stroked and the more I do what feels right for me and say what I actually think, even if others will probably not understand, or judge me.

    And I feel more confident the less I try to compulsively – almost insanely – leave my comfort zone.

    Following my heart.

    Questioning my inner judge, that was shaped by the outer judges and a system.

    Learning to trust my inner desires and intuitions.

    The foundation is a good vibration.

    The Playground and the Race

    I have lots of privileges being German, white, male, heterosexual, and healthy. It is a bit cynical, but I realized I do live in a first-world playground. At the same time, I know there are many, many threats and so much injustices in this world. And it makes me sad as I am beginning to realize that lots of toxic beliefs from my ancestors – from which I cannot completely detach myself either – have destroyed peaceful, abundant ways of living. I feel a deep sense of responsibility for this DNA-show here on Earth.

    We have lots of options. There are tons of products, masses of jobs and a vast amount of possible activities.
    It happened to me that I drowned in that.

    I was constantly overloaded by information received through my pocket computer – no matter if it was a post by a friend or some news ticker update. I always wanted to be up-to-second, not only because of the fear of judgment, but also because I feared missing out.

    I did sense an inner restlessness, but I didn’t question it as I felt it within others as well. It felt somehow normal.

    But it’s a rat race.

    Drowning in Choice

    I didn’t just observe that phenomenon when using my tiny computer. I also observed it when planning my social contacts and time. Party here, meetup there, holiday here, project there. New people everyday. New philosophical theories everyday. So many thoughts, so little quality. So much noise. Underneath the noise: restlessness, junk, confusions and toxins.

    People fearing the climate crisis. People fearing war. People fearing pandemics. People fearing death. People running around.

    I feel like we tend to drown in noise and fear.

    Back to the Roots, Back to the Heart

    And we seem to forget the basics, our roots.

    “Dig up the ground, plant the yam. Love on repeat.”, as Israel Vibration points out in Dig Up the Ground.

    My truth is: it’s one and a half months now since I graduated and I have no satisfactory plan how to shape my ego for others. And I just started not wanting such a plan anymore. Earth keeps spinning. My mind starts moving. It works just fine.

    Collective Fear, Collective Clarity

    In theory, we know solutions to the current threats and injustices to humanity. But we’re missing collective clarity. We’re lacking a collective mental world model and understanding that would allow us to just collaboratively solve the problems. We lack agency. We’re shaped by information overload, misinformation, noise and ads of recommender systems, which take over the agency for us. But we need agency in a democracy. We must not be lazy or foolish, we must wake up. We’re in a meta-crisis. We’re trapped in hamster wheels.

    We’re lacking a shared vision and beliefs. And we’re lacking clarity, togetherness and purpose. That makes it easy for insanely wicked world leaders who seem to have lost touch with their roots (maybe never have been in touch), trying to make us believe democracy has failed.

    A dark drawing of a theatre scene in caricature-style. In the center, sorrowful shapes of world leaders in black suits with hollow eyes control the masses, symbolized ad puppet-like figures on an earth globe, using strings. Above them looms a giant grayscale fog entity with bloody red eyes, representing depression and self-doubt. Its arms look like strings of fog, steering the world leaders like puppets themselves. Below, on the surface of the globe among the mass-controlled puppet-like dark figures, some vibrant, rainbow-colored human figures stand free, dancing and resisting, their light piercing the fog. The scene is framed by red stage curtains, with fog in the background and light breaking through from the defiant figures. The mood is dark and foggy, but the resistant people bring some light into the scene.
    Image generated using OpenAI’s DALL·E via ChatGPT. Used for non-commercial, satirical purposes.

    But we’re all intelligent!

    Let’s just allow ourselves to step back and relax. And claim back our own agency!

    We don’t need to play for anyone.

    Beyond love, there seems to be nothing at all.

    It’s not a Versus

    Recently, I personally feel as clear as I haven’t in years. And I realized that clarity must not be confused with structure. For me, clarity comes from flow and vibration, supported by a good structure. From aligning with the cosmic rhythm. Aligning with the heart.

    Currently, I’m drawn to simplification and creativity, less noise, more presence and more mindfulness.

    Less explicit knowledge and logic. I mean, we invented computers to relieve us from that.
    More intuition, more implicit knowledge and more wisdom. More alignment and embodiment. Feeling and thinking, dancing and breathing.

    Being human.

    Embracing spirituality.

    Even science, for all its achievements, has not brought us a universal truth. The Enlightenment gifted us powerful tools — observation, reason, experimentation — but in the end, we still don’t know why there was a big bang, what came before it, if consciousness is a thing, or whether we’ve truly found the smallest particles of existence. We keep digging, but the mystery remains. And perhaps that’s not a flaw, but an invitation — to stay humble, to keep wondering, and to open ourselves to the truths that lie beyond logic alone.

    Toward a Soul Revolution

    I am really sure that our collective consciousness is directly intertwined with our individual ones. The change is inner and will manifest in the world.

    The struggle is inner: Chicano, Indio, American Indian, Mojado, Mexicano, immigrant Latino, Anglo in power, working class Anglo, Black, Asian — our psyches resemble the bordertowns and are populated by the same people. The struggle has always been inner, and is played out in outer terrains. Awareness of our situation must come before inner changes, which in turn come before changes in society. Nothing happens in the >real< world unless it first happens in the images in our heads.

    Gloria E. Anzaldúa, Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza, 1987. Recently seen in Vienna at WEST/WU.

    Following our curiosities, not our fears. I’m sure, the good will come. And I’m sure as the sun will shine, that the constructive models will evolve and they will eradicate the destructive ones.

    Spreading understanding, positivity, love and togetherness.

    So that one day, we really all can live in peace, love and harmony.

    Heaven on earth.

    I know for sure now that I really want to help DNA in all of its manifestations. It has never been that clear. I want to help preserve it, fighting against entropy. And I know for sure now that for that purpose, I need to stay true to myself. In a system that consistently tries to lead me astray. A system which appears to be the most pressing threat.

    I’m sure, we need to find balance within ourselves before we can bring balance to the world.

    Probably, humanity is Noah for DNA and we need to find balance within us as a whole, too.

    Let’s embrace the unknown and step forward with positivity and curiosity.

    Let’s reclaim that which is ours. Let’s reclaim our agency and our freedom. All of us!

    Let’s get the soul revolution rolling!

  • My Change of Perspective through a Semester Abroad Down Under

    My Change of Perspective through a Semester Abroad Down Under

    Reading Time: 19 minutes
    Sydney, Australia (picture taken during my journey).

    In this blog post, I provide some hand-picked insights into my semester abroad in Melbourne, Australia — and how it has changed my perspective on life. As I write this, it has been half a year since I returned to my home country, Germany. It took me some time to process my experiences down under, as well as to reflect on them here, back home.

    Now, when I think of the past year, a warm feeling of contentment flows through my inner being and a hearty grin appears on my face. And there is one sentence that goes through my head over and over again: “What a wild trip it’s been…” During my exchange, so many exciting, stirring, and mind-blowing things happened that it took me a while to process everything and reflect on my thought processes. Some of my fundamental beliefs began to reshape.

    I would love to pour out everything about my semester abroad, straight from the stream of my consciousness, but unfortunately, that would not be possible. Instead, I will try to give a very rough overview of the biggest challenges and most beautiful memories.

    Taking the Plunge

    When my family members, friends, and fellow students ask me about my stay in Australia, I often struggle to accurately express my thoughts and feelings about it. Sometimes, I feel a strong urge to advocate for doing a semester abroad, provided the opportunity arises. However, most of the time, I worry that I might express it the wrong way and unintentionally achieve the opposite effect — especially because I recognize this kind of defensive reaction in myself when someone tries to convince me of something. I must admit that I was one of the last people in my close circle of friends to spend a semester abroad, and I always felt a little uncomfortable with their enthusiastic experience reports.

    As a result, I initially rationalized why a semester abroad was unnecessary: it is too expensive, too uncomfortable, and too harmful to the climate; my English is not good enough; I could not learn a new language; wanderlust is just a manifestation of inner dissatisfaction; I can experience other cultures and countries through the internet; I have obligations within my well-established social circle; I have too many other struggles to manage (such as my master’s thesis); and so on — just to name a few of these (ir)rationalizations. I felt anger when my friends told me about their experiences in Canada, France, Spain, Norway, or the US. But at some point, I realized that I actually envied them — thanks in no small part to the group therapy I had started about a year before my stay abroad. I swallowed my pride and took a big step out of my comfort zone. I began planning my semester abroad in Australia — and today, I can proudly say: I went through with it!

    As journaling has helped me for almost two years to tame those ephemeral soap bubbles of thought and cultivate them through language before they burst or disappear on the horizon, I believe that writing about all of it could support me in overcoming the struggle of expressing my thoughts and feelings I mentioned earlier. From my point of view, this is the perfect way to share my personal experiences. I do not want to give intrusive recommendations or pushy advice — I just want to share what this journey has done for me and how I feel and think about it.

    The Semester Abroad

    Before diving into my personal experiences down under, let me first put this whole thing into a technical context. If you are already familiar with the concept of studying abroad for a semester, feel free to skip this section and move directly to My Semester Abroad.

    A semester abroad is not only a fantastic opportunity to visit another country and engage with its culture but also an enormously valuable personal experience that guarantees growth. Students who decide to undertake such an adventure typically face challenges such as applying for a program at both their home and exchange universities, preparing for the organizational and regulatory requirements of entering and staying in a foreign country, navigating and expressing themselves in a foreign language, building new relationships and routines, being physically separated from friends and family, adapting to another culture, and handling a potentially very different academic teaching style. All of this can be overwhelming, if not downright frightening — and it would be a lie to say that planning and managing such a project is not time-consuming as fuck. But students who have been fortunate enough to have such an experience — including myself — usually say it is worth the effort and time. Most would gladly do it again (and some actually do).

    Many universities offer programs that support their students financially and help organize their stay, making such a trip affordable and relatively straightforward. For example, the Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich (my home university) offers an inter-European exchange program called Erasmus+ and an international one called LMUexchange, among others. Students typically start by applying for such a program at their home university. If accepted, they then apply to the foreign exchange university within the program. Afterward, they hope to be accepted there as well, so they can begin the actual preparations, such as applying for a visa, getting insurance, and so on. Depending on the type of program, the number of applicants and other organizational factors, the entire process — from the initial application to finally entering the host country — can take up to a year. But from what I have seen, most students say it is absolutely worth being patient and showing perseverance.

    Experience Reports 
    "I am a master's student in physics at the University of Bologna, spending one year abroad studying medical physics at LMU Munich. It was a challenging experience since studying abroad allows you to learn material in different ways rather than being limited to a single method or learning it to a specific depth. It pushes you to adapt to new approaches that may not exist at your home university. For example, at the University of Bologna, we don’t have seminar-based courses, but here, they are part of the curriculum. This experience has helped me develop the ability to convey my knowledge concisely and effectively within a limited time frame. Beyond the academic challenges—such as adapting to new professors and their different teaching styles—you also learn to interact with people who have different social behaviors and levels of friendliness. Studying and collaborating with them adds another valuable dimension to the experience. If I could go back in time, I would do it again. Spending a year abroad is an opportunity for personal growth. It helps students develop in multiple dimensions and become more well-rounded individuals."
— Amin
    "Hi, I studied AI for one semester at Monash University in Melbourne, Australia. I think a semester abroad is totally worth it because it highlights how unique and strange your life is compared to the vast number of different life circumstances you will encounter. I would certainly like to do it again since I appreciate the change of perspective that comes with it."
— Leo
    "During my exchange semester in Norway, I had my first contacts with cybersecurity, which would later become the field of study for my master's degree from which I'll graduate and start a job soon. I had the opportunity to experience a country that I've never been to before from an entirely different perspective than I would as a tourist. Even though there are things that – looking back now – I wish I would have done differently or at all, I still think it was a very worthwile time that will always be a good memory."
— Thomas (Personal Website)
    "During my studies in Social Work in Graz I did an semester abroad in Munich. The university supported Erasmus students a lot, this is why they offered separate courses in English. We were 12 students from all over Europe. I shared an appartment with most of them. Therefore I gained a lot of experience and spoke English most of the time. I would recommend to do an semester abroad because of the intercultural exchange and the personal growth (becoming more independent and self-reliant). Because of the same native language (German) I got to know locals very easy. I am still in good contact with my friends from Germany. Due to the local proximity we see each other regularly. I am very grateful for that."
— Carina

    My Semester Abroad

    Now I am going to share the most interesting insights from my semester abroad. Instead of linearly describing all events like in an autobiography, I want to focus on the experiences I found most meaningful and impactful for my personal journey.

    For the sake of clarity and context, here is a brief overview of the key events: I was still conducting research for my master’s thesis when I flew to Melbourne. After arriving, I had three weeks for personal and academic orientation before the semester at Monash University (my exchange university) officially started. During this time, I met some interesting people, visited beautiful places, and became somewhat familiar with Australian culture as well as with my roommates. Throughout the semester, I balanced my coursework at Monash University, which I attended in person, with the remote research for my master’s thesis at Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich. I wrote my last exam at the beginning of June. Since my supervisor and I decided to write a paper, which we submitted to a conference in mid-June, I had six weeks left to travel around Australia before my visa expired. I used this time to explore Tasmania, Cairns, Sydney, and Brisbane before flying back to Munich.

    The Other Hemisphere of Planet Earth

    It is one thing to understand astronomy and observe the sun’s changing course throughout the seasons from the same position on Earth. But it is an entirely different experience to change that position and perceive all the differences that come with it. The same applies to geography and distance: Imagining traveling to a place more than 16,000 km away is one thing, but grasping it through lived experience is entirely different.

    The Flights

    On the evening of February 4, 2024, I started my flight from Munich via Dubai to Melbourne. The whole trip took 23 hours, and I saw two beautiful sunrises in 18 hours. Because of the time shift, it was already the morning of February 6, 2024, when I arrived in Melbourne. So, I technically skipped a day by flying in the same direction as the Earth rotates. Moreover, I started in the cold of winter and arrived in the heat of summer. I did not sleep very well on the plane, so the jet lag was horrible, especially since I was a little sick. I had never experienced jet lag before, as my longest flight had been to Tenerife, and I can say that I underestimated it. It took me longer than a week to fully recover and adapt to the new rhythm, season, and climate. In Germany, everything was cold, bare, and grey, but suddenly, from one day to the next in Australia, everything was hot, green, and colorful. That experience was mind-blowing, even though it might sound trite or obvious.

    When flying back, I had a very similar yet different experience. On the evening of July 30, 2024, I started in the more northerly and thus warmer Brisbane and flew back in the opposite direction as the Earth rotates. After another stop in Dubai, I arrived back in Munich. This time, I did not technically skip a day, but I kind of surfed on a stretched one, so I landed on the next day, namely July 31, 2024. Neither the jet lag nor the seasonal change was as bad this time.

    The Course of the Sun

    In the first few weeks, there was something else that confused me, and I just could not figure it out. It also seemed trivial as I did, because I was aware of it in theory, but still, it was something completely different to actually observe and experience. One morning, I was enjoying my breakfast in the backyard of my shared house when I suddenly realized that the sun was moving in the opposite direction than I was used to. Obviously, the sun moves from east over south to west in the northern hemisphere. Therefore, if I point at the sun with my right index finger and follow its course, I move my arm from left to right. However, in the southern hemisphere, the sun moves from east over north to west. Thus, if I point at the sun with my right index finger and follow its course again, I move my arm from right to left. As I said, it is obvious, but still, it was such a cool personal observation, and it actually made me happy and even more curious.

    One Intercontinental Flight Away

    It was a really weird thought that none of my family members and friends were physically reachable anymore. So far, I had always lived in the same city as my family on my father’s side, and I had lots of friends with whom I could physically spend time. But now, all of a sudden, everyone with whom I had a deep relationship was literally on the other side of the globe. At first, I was scared and worried about feeling lonely, but actually, I did not. My roommates integrated me very well, and I felt a sense of belonging. I also started having regular phone calls with my family members and best friends. Of course, I missed them. Paradoxically, probably because of the necessity for more mindfulness regarding the scheduling of video calls and the design of the conversations, some of my friends and I have become even closer through the physical distance. What a time to be alive.

    Living with Different Cultures

    Honestly, I had never been that interested in other cultures before, as I was more of a nerd when it came to topics related to natural sciences. However, being exposed to the multitude of cultures down under completely changed my mind.

    Living in Australia with People from Kashmir

    I lived in Clayton, a suburb of Melbourne – the capital of Victoria – located to the east of its Central Business District (CBD). I decided to live there for two reasons. First, Monash University is also located there. Second, there was a housing crisis in Victoria, and it was rather hard to find accommodation. I had actually planned to live with native Aussies to get closer to their culture, but unfortunately, I could not find such accommodation due to the crisis. Plans always change. After an exhausting search from overseas, I was lucky to find a shared house on Browns Road with two people from Kashmir – one former and one current computer science student at my exchange university.

    After my arrival, my two roommates gave me a warm welcome. They drove me to a department store to get some bedding and convenience items. Afterwards, we had a long conversation over tea, and I started to get to know not only the Kashmiri culture but also Australian culture, as they had already lived there for years.

    During my stay, we cooked and had barbies (Australian slang for “barbecue”) together, took trips to national parks, a thermal spa as well as the Great Ocean Road, and had long philosophical discussions until the middle of the night. They told me about their very political and emotional perspective on the Kashmir conflict, about life in Kashmir, the beauty of nature there, about being Muslims, and they introduced me to the culinary world of Pakistan, Kashmir, and India. I also joined them for one day of fasting during Ramadan. I am deeply grateful for this exchange.

    Another Approach to Work-Life-Balance

    What I found particularly interesting was their different approach to work-life balance, which was not strictly based on the week and weekend but actually took place every day, relatively independent of the weekly concept. They alternated between working productively and chatting or chilling out every day. They just lived and went with the flow. As a result, they were very spontaneous, which was a sharp contrast to my German planning behavior. Adapting to this way of life while achieving my personal goals was a significant challenge. However, now that I am back in Germany, I find myself planning less and living more in the moment. I am convinced that overcoming this hurdle has shifted my perspective, showing me that planning does not always lead to happiness. Plans always change. Life cannot be fully planned – it just can be lived. Furthermore, I think that spontaneity is a crucial part of my inner well-being and satisfaction. After reflecting on it and living life back in Germany, I now know that a balanced mixture of sticking to plans and going with the flow is desirable for me.

    Another Way of Life

    Their relationship to spirituality and religion is another aspect I was curious about, which made me reflect a lot. They are Muslims, so the all-encompassing aspect of their lives is religion, namely Islam. As I am vegan with a weakness for butter chicken, it was easy to get along regarding halal food. And because I stopped drinking alcohol more than two years ago, this was also not an issue. Their belief in God kept them going, and the prayers in the mosque or at home were rituals of gratitude and mindfulness. I was almost shocked by how content and fulfilled they always seemed, even when they had struggles at work or university, and how they always encouraged me when I expressed concerns about my master’s thesis and the paper – “Don’t worry! You’ll be alright.” Never before in my life have I met such frugal and optimistic people who seemed full of fulfillment and hope. It seemed to me that they were using a tool-set from their religion for the psyche and self-care techniques that Westernized and very naturalistic people could also benefit from without having to join Islam or any other religion directly. I hope that, in the future, such healthier alternatives to popular substances (especially alcohol) for managing overthinking and negative emotions will emerge, offering long-term mental health benefits to Western society. After this experience, I am no longer a strict naturalistic atheist but rather an agnostic, and I have developed a new sense of aesthetics and spirituality, which I am still exploring.

    Cultural Mixer

    I was truly culture-shocked in a completely different way than I had expected when I learned about ethnic enclaves, which are common in metropolitan areas of Australia. In my first week, I drove to the neighboring suburb of Springvale, and suddenly I felt as though I was somewhere in Asia, as the majority of the people there appeared Asian, and there were almost only Asian markets and restaurants. Later, my roommates informed me that seeing a majority of a specific ethnic group is a phenomenon typical of Australian suburbs. In the case of Springvale, many Vietnamese people migrated there during the Vietnam War in the 1970s and 1980s and collectively settled in the area. This phenomenon can also be observed in other suburbs of Melbourne, such as Oakleigh, which has a strong Greek cultural influence, or Carlton, which is also known as “Little Italy.” However, even though not every Aussie would agree, it seemed to me that almost everyone embraced the Australian cultural values of talkativeness, openness, curiosity, and respect. In the CBD, all different cultures merged together, creating a strong, internationalized unity. I did not expect the strong characteristics of the different cultures at all, as I am not used to ethnic enclaves in Munich. Here, it seems to me that there is a predominant German culture, and other cultures do not have the same opportunity to flourish as they do in Australia. I completely understand the arguments for preserving local culture, but I have my doubts that this cannot go hand in hand with allowing other cultures to unfold and shine brightly as well. I had never considered this before my semester abroad, but now I appreciate cultural exchange and integrated cultural curiosity as fundamental values for myself.

    International Encounters

    Throughout my entire stay in Australia, I also got to know many people from different countries around the world. At Monash University, there were activities and events for international students like me, which helped me socialize and make international connections. I met people from Sweden, Malaysia, China, the US, Great Britain, Canada, India, Pakistan, Kashmir, Poland, Mexico, Argentina, Italy, Denmark, the Netherlands, and, of course, other Germans. I could find Germans literally everywhere, and the same applied to Brits. Sometimes I just had superficial chats, and sometimes I had deeper conversations and connections. Later, when I traveled around Australia, I also met lots of internationals in hostels or at free walking tours. Sometimes we scheduled small trips or activities together. In hindsight, I remember a handful of valuable encounters that I will probably never forget.

    One of them was a stimulating conversation with a young Jewish woman from Canada on a bus tour through the Daintree Forest near Cairns. She started by asking me about my greatest fear, and we talked for almost two hours. She confided in me that she is very worried about the safety of Jews worldwide, especially after observing the recent hostility and conspiracy theories surrounding Jews all over the globe, as well as the situation in Gaza and Israel. I was shocked when she pointed out that she would not feel safe in Germany at the moment and would not recommend Jews going there. I was speechless, and I still don’t know what I can do about it other than standing firm in my opposition to the political right.

    Another young woman from Canada inspired me with her personal international experiences. We spent a few days together and visited the Three Sisters in the Blue Mountains. She was the same age but had traveled much more than I had. She was born and grew up in Brazil, studied in Switzerland and France, and is now teaching in Canada. It was impressive how her English was almost accent-free and with what ease she told me about commuting internationally to visit her parents in Brazil or her boyfriend in India. I was also impressed by her open mind and psychological resilience, which was likely a result of the many fresh starts in her life. I envied her courage and curiosity, but I am optimistic about integrating these values into my personal life as well.

    Speaking and Thinking a Foreign Language

    I have never been bad at English in school. Plus, during my studies, I had some opportunities to learn and improve my English. I wrote my bachelor’s thesis in English, attended some lectures held in English, and participated in an English course at my home university to prepare for Australia. I also communicated entirely in English with my master’s thesis supervisor, which was good practice as well. I thought I was well-prepared.

    However, when I arrived in Australia, I realized that my English was clustered around formal and technical vocabulary. At times, I felt like a toddler when I spoke. I struggled with basic words needed for daily life, like rash, capsicum, floss, inflammation, and more. I especially lacked vocabulary related to my emotions and feelings, and since expressing those is important to me, I felt frustrated and uncomfortable. For this and other reasons, I went to a free psychological coaching session at the health center at Monash University in the fourth week of my stay, where I had the chance to express my thoughts and feelings and receive professional support. It also helped me prioritize my goals and deal with the initial overwhelm I felt during the semester abroad. Afterward, I started learning important English words related to emotions and feelings and began to talk about them regularly with my roommates or friends at university. By the way, the word “friend” is a false friend for non-Aussies, as most of us think of it as referring to someone with whom we have a deep connection, but a “friend” in Australia can be anyone you just met and spend some time with.

    Over time, I learned more and more words, and speaking English became easier. At some point, I even started thinking in English, and it became harder to switch back to German when I spoke with my friends and family on the phone. Besides words, I also learned Aussie slang, which often trivializes many words – for example, arvo for afternoon, brekky for breakfast, avo for avocado, barbie for barbecue, devo for devastated, or defo for definitely. The thing I struggled with the longest, and still hadn’t fully mastered by the time I left, was the countless idioms and the Australian accent. But at least I could hold conversations with natives, which was my biggest progress in terms of English understanding and speaking. I was delighted every time Aussies or Brits praised me for the quality of my English.

    Studying in Melbourne

    I had to attend three courses at Monash University. The teaching style was quite different compared to that at Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich. It was very school-like, meaning I had to do homework every week, some of which was even a hurdle and was included in the final grade. This required a lot of learning effort and left little free time during the semester, compared to my experiences in Germany. Moreover, I had to conduct research for my master’s thesis and paper. On top of that, I wanted to enjoy the semester abroad. It was a lot at once, but having clear goals and structure in my daily life helped me deal with it all to my satisfaction. My ambition, combined with the pressure I put on myself, was a borderline challenge in itself, and I think I almost burned out, which I somehow managed to avoid thanks to the great integration by my flatmates and the exciting experiences in and around Melbourne. This aspect of my experience abroad has sustainably strengthened my resilience, perseverance, patience, and trust in myself. Now, I can proudly say that I reached all of my goals: I passed all of my exams well, I passed my Master’s thesis summa cum laude, I co-authored a paper published at EMNLP 2024, I enjoyed my semester abroad, and I had many astonishing experiences.

    Traveling Australia

    I spent most of my semester abroad in Melbourne due to academic obligations. During this time, I made smaller trips to the beach, the CBD, the rainforest in the Dandenong National Ranges, the Great Ocean Road and more. In the last six weeks of my stay, I traveled to Tasmania, Cairns, Sydney, and Brisbane before flying back home to Munich. I was alone in Tasmania and went on a road trip (driving on the left side). I was worried that I might suffer from loneliness, but I actually enjoyed it and found my mind clearest when watching the sunrise at the Bay of Fires or eating some cookies on top of Mount Amos, with only myself for company. The nature in Tasmania is truly beautiful and often untouched. Afterwards, I met some friends from Monash University in Cairns and started to enjoy the company of other people. For me, sleeping in an 8-bed dorm was a big step out of my comfort zone, but I am glad I did it, as I became more and more comfortable with chatting with people until I finally found joy in it. I managed to get comfortable with my social anxiety. I am going to show some of my favorite impressions in the images inside the toggles below.

    The Flora Down Under
    The Fauna Down Under
    The Cities Down Under

    Conclusion

    In conclusion, I can say that the semester abroad in Australia was a very valuable experience that I would definitely do again if I had the chance. It really stretched my comfort zone. As a result, I became much braver and more comfortable with my social anxiety. I became incredibly more curious about other cultures and beliefs. Moreover, I found so much inspiration regarding different ways of life that I am actively integrating them into my own life now – or at least trying.

    It shifted my perspective on what really matters in life, and I found out that it does not actually make me happy to spend eight or more hours a day in front of a screen solving complicated algorithmic puzzles on my own. It also does not make me happy to blindly chase after any capitalist promises of prosperity or sacrifice myself as a workhorse for some narrow-minded project or research. I did not only learn about the incredible value of social connections, but also about the importance of experience in the real world — traveling, culture, art, religion, history, and politics. There is this world out there, and this curiosity inside me.

    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day."
— Albert Einstein

    I had an initially sad realization that has since made me extremely grateful and even happy. I have realized that, over the years, I have chosen a career path that is the ideal avoidance strategy for social contact and allows me to solve introverted algorithmic puzzles every day without having to get out of my comfort zone much. At first, I thought I had to leave computer science in order to be happy at all. However, after a long process of reflection, I realize that less extreme paths will probably suffice. After all, I am now a computer scientist, and even in this field and research, there are opportunities to choose more or less introverted work as well as more or less narrow-minded work. Since returning to Germany, I have been seeking much more social contact as well as purpose and am now integrating this into my work-life organization.